"THE" Dress

I am not sure how to emphasize the importance of "THE" Dress to you. I don't care if the food stinks, or if it rains on the big day, but I truely care about the dress. Not that I have to look perfect or even take your breath away, but I want to feel like the dress defines the day of the wedding and how I will be feeling on the inside, amazingly happy.

Sometimes I will turn on "Say Yes to the Dress" and I am horified by the way women expect the day to be the best day of their life. It is simply the day that marks the beginning of the rest of mine. I am not going to lie and say I am not excited about the wedding day, because I am. I am excited to look pretty and have my picture taken and to have everyone that I love in one place watching me as I commit my life to my one and only. In case you didn't know Jason is my one and only. To be honest I am MORE excited about what happens in the days, months, years after we say I DO.

We will watch eachother succeed and fail and be there to hold each others hands through it all. I am so excited to be a family, to watch eachother grow up and grow old. (I am not sure either of us will ever be grown up.) I am excited to go through all of the bad times and all of the good times, because I will be one to admit that I am not perfect and I will have my bad moments, but also know that Jason will be the source of many wonderful moments.

I am so excited to see Jason as I walk down the aisle. My Dad at my side and my Mom in tears, Jason will be the one that I am paying attention to. He will be the only one that I care if he thinks I am beautiful. Today was the day I got "THE" Dress. My Mom, bless her heart, did not know that she was recording videos instead of taking pictures the whole time. Below are "videos" of the dresses I did not get, it is hard to see me very much of the time but you will get the picture :) . You will have to come to the wedding if you want to see the dress I chose. All I can say is I LOVE it!! I think Jason will too!

This is the 2nd dress that I tried on. I ended up purchasing the 1st. It is very brief picture at the beginning of the video. If I was getting married on the beach I would have purchased this qown.

This was the 3rd. Very heavy but very beautiful. If I was getting married inside a church and it wasn't so heavy this would have been the one.

The 4th and last dress was my Mom's favorite. It was a very close second for me. I was not very comfortable in it and didnt feel the way I do in mine!

I hope after the wedding I will post some pictures of the one that I bought and love! I guess now it is time to go get Jason in a tux!

The song to walk down the aisle....

Etta James - At Last

Let me know what you think...

8 months from today...

8 months...
3/4 of a year...
242 days...

This is how much longer until our wedding day!
I know this is obvious, but I cannot wait!

Every girl dreams of the day she will meet her prince,
he will sweep her off her feet,
And they will live together in happiness!

That day happened more then 3 years ago. Jason and I have loved, laughed, cried, struggled, and found our way to where we are now.
READY!

Yes... we are ready!
Ready to be everything to each other, ready to start a life together.

Some of my friends do not think I am old enough, and don't understand the ache inside that I have to start a family (ie marry Jason). They look at me with misunderstanding, that doesn't feel to good.

Jason on the other hand continues to smile, hold my hand and tell me that all of their doubts do not explain the love we have that continues to grow everyday.

Thanks Jason. You will make these 8 months go by so much quicker with your love and friendship.

It's strange...
8 months from today we will be married,
By then we will have been together for 4 years.
1 year from now I will be preparing to graduate.
Seems like these next 12 months hold so many great blessings!
How could someone be sad about that, huh?

Anyways...
8 months
3/4 of a year
242 days

and I will be Jenna Renee' Reaves Barker



WIERD..... BUT AWESOME!!! Can't wait!

A girl can dream...

I know I know, the wedding is a whole whoppin 279 days away, but I think a girl can indulge and look at wedding things every now and then. I also know that the majority of the people reading this are my "future family", so like me they are looking forward to another wedding coming up soon ;). Congrats Julianna! I hope to hear the date soon! I keep asking Jason if he has heard anything!

I would like to hear what you guys like for center pieces, Jason doesn't seem to have much of an opinion on things like this :)

This is my favorite:

But... I like these too:

And keep in mind that there will be yellow flowers instead of pink! Hope all is well with everyone!

What I have learned about life.... and death

Today was a hard day. For some reason everywhere I turned I was thinking about life, not just the moment I was in but every moment before and after. I decided I needed to write down some things, almost remember what has happened and share what I want for what is left.

I will start here....

When I was little I had fish, frogs, cats, dogs and hampsters die. Everytime a hampster, fish or frog died it was "ok time to go to the pet store". The dogs and cats were different. They are so much a part of your day to day routine. When Bagels died (my cocker spaniel) I am not sure I completely understood. I was 8 when he died. Gussy (my golden retriever) died when I was a junior in high school. The day before he was put down my Mom told us what was going to happen, but thought it was best to have a chance to say goodbye. I slept the whole night by his side under our dining room table. This dog was not just a dog. He was a saint. He was beautiful. He was my Asperagus.

Before Gussy, my Dad's father passed away. Papa. Papa called me smiley and pea pie. He was a man that loved my Mother because my Dad did. He treated her like she belonged. I remember his funeral and feeling like the whole world stood still. I remember the breeze that day and the way my Grandma Betty looked as she recieved the folded flag. I hope he can hear me when I brag about him. I hope he can see that he is one of my heros. I was 11, he never had the chance to meet Isaac and will never see how much his life has paved mine. My Dad turned 49 this past weekend and he looks more and more like his father. I love that.

The last day of High School my friend Johnny was hit while skitching on the back of his friends car. The earth did stand still that day. I played in the marching band with Johnny. I remember trying to play his trumpet and him trying to play my flute, niether of us could do it. Brittany, my good friend, and I were always there flirting with Johnny. After a parade at the State Fair Johnny smiled and winked at me. I saw that smile only once after that, on the day he was hit. Brittany and I had planned on telling Johnny how much he meant to us on the day of graduation. I think he knows even though we never had the chance to tell him.

So why do I write about this, why am I thinking about life and death so much? I dont know really. I guess as I have gotten older each death that I have experienced makes me realize that even because today I feel invincible, because I think there are going to be better days, I really DONT know. I think tomorrow the sun will rise, I will go to school and next fall I will graduate. After that I will be married, I will have kids and live my life like I dream. I just have been thinking, if I do die before then I want to learn everyday about what life really is about. Johnny's senior quote was "Live as if you were to die tomorrow, Learn as if you were to live forever". But maybe this isn't right. Maybe you are supposed to live to learn. Isn't that what its all about? Aren't I supposed to learn from all of the mistakes and all of the experiences that I have? Then what did Johnny and Papa live for? What did they learn? Did they start that day that they died out the way that they wanted? Did I start today the way I would had it been my last?


I miss you guys.

Its been 3 years...

Tomorrow is our 3 year anniversary. I found this little poem and thought I would share.

There's no such thing

as a perfect person-

but there is such thing

as a person who's perfect for you...

and you're that person for me!

Everything about you-

from the color of your hair,

the shape of your nose,

the sound of your laugh,

and the size of your feet-

absolutely everything

that makes you

the mavelously unique

individual you are

is something

I accept, appreciate

admire and adore.

So no matter what you think

is less than perfect about yourself-

it really doesn't matter,

because you're perfect for me.

I wouldn't change one single thing...

I love you just the way you are.

-Dierdra Zollar

Cannot wait for the next 70 years!

Barker Vail Visit Number One

These pictures are all from the 4th of July weekend that I spent with Jason's Family in Vail. Enjoy!

This was a picture Jason just had to have me take. He was amazed this car was pulling a boat twice its size up the mountain.

Jason's Mom and Sister's put on a treasure hunt for the kids, Jason wore a bandanna too.

Jason's Niece Mackay, a chocoholic at heart like all of the Barker's!

Zack, he is extremely mobile! He is also the cutest kid I have seen.

Mackay and Emilie at the park.

William and Nicolas, two cuties!

The ladies once again.

Zack was just so excited about everything!

Carter is actually a really good baby!

I hope Jason can pass some of the Barker cuteness to our children!

We went boating, Jason was very excited and very happy the entire time.

Emilie, Nicolas, and William on the party boat.

Shay and Carter.

The kiddos took turns driving.

Emilie was extremely serious about it. She took it "by the horns".

Kim and Nicolas.

Jason and Mackay

Jason and I

Kim and Shay

The girls also talked about the novel Pope Joan over the weekend. I had the chance to buy the movie and watch it. There was a scene in the book that during our discussion we referred to as the Chapel scene. This part was pretty graphic in the movie. Only the killing was shown though, and not the "other part". This other part happened earlier though in the movie, where I do not remember it happening in the book between Joan's father and mother. This the only bad parts of the movie and there was nudity. So... I would rate the movie as PG-13 other then these 3 parts. They would be R. It was good though, I guess I just wanted to see how they would make it into a movie because there were so many written conflicts and resolutions it would be difficult to show it all.
Again, thanks to Jason's family for your hospitality over this past weekend. It was fun to see all of you.